The Curse Of Robert (2016) REVIEW

"The Curse Of Robert" is an independent British horror film from director Andrew Jones. Released only this month (September 2016), this follow up to Jones' 2015 effort "Robert" came in #1 in the UK DVD charts. Apparently some strange people, like myself, still buy DVDs! Check out the trailer:

Doll related horror films! They've seen a resurgence in recent years with films like "Annabelle" and "The Boy", here we have a fresh British offering to this sub-genre, little red headed Robert. Could he be the British answer to the horror icon that is Chucky? No, is the simple answer. However I'm not sure director Andrew Jones had the intention of rivalling Chucky. "The Curse Of Robert" bring a gritty and almost down to earth quality to this habitually over the top genre that only a British horror could (I say almost down to earth, we're still talking about a killer doll guys.). I'm afraid that's about as positive as this review is going to get, buckle in boys.

The overall plot is pretty thin and cliché, possessed doll, kills people for virtually no reason; our little friend Robert doesn't seem to have an end game!

There is a small attempt at making the plot deeper with references to the previous film (Robert 2015). Unfortunately these references have no bearing on the story arc what's so ever. The acting quality is a small port in a storm for this film, however due to the plot or lack there of, its almost impossible to feel any connection to these characters when they're getting off'd! In fairness to Andrew Jones, to make two films out of very little "based on a true story" source material may be the reason for such thin plots.

The worst part about this film is regrettably the killing scenes (the massive body count of 4). Robert essentially looks as of he's being held and shook above his victims. These scenes really take away from Robert's genuinely creepy ascetic, another saving grace of this film. The shots when Robert isn't moving are creepier than the ones in which he is.

The best way I could describe the majority of "The Curse Of Robert" is like watching a soap opera with a killer doll appearing now and again. The film really should feature more of its star doll and less cliché dialogue between characters that, lets be honest, no one watching cares about.

Other than Robert's creepy look and the decent acting, watching this film truly felt like a curse.

The tagline reads "Chucky and Annabelle were scary, Robert is your worst nightmare" and I couldn't agree more.

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Deadpool (2016) REVIEW

Deadpool has certainly been the most anticipated film of 2016 so far and has smashed box office records, but did it deserve all of the hype? Or did we all just look forward to the novelty of a swearing superhero?

Directed by Tim Miller and starring Ryan Reynolds, rated a 15 in the UK and R in the US, Deadpool is no kid’s superhero movie. Bloody violence and X-rated jokes make this an entirely new superhero movie viewing experience. So Family Guy does Marvel maybe what you’re thinking, but you’d be wrong. The execution is perfect and still manages to captivate you and capture you in the serious story of cancer survivor, come mutant mercenary, Wade Wilson AKA Deadpool. The comedy aspect although prevalent throughout, doesn’t over shadow the main plot. Witty comebacks, creative insults and many, many instances of breaking the fourth wall makes for guaranteed belly laughs and an interesting viewing experience. Not forgetting the fast faced action and fight scenes ensuring you’re never short on adrenaline with gory violence that’s more suited to an instalment of Friday the 13^th than a Marvel movie. Finally the expertly weaved love story brings another, softer emotional aspect to this movie, making sure you don’t overload on testosterone.

Ryan Reynolds portrays the witty, charismatic and impulsive rouge that is Deadpool perfectly, a great casting decision. This movie really does deliver in giving a fresh spin on the superhero movie template that Marvel has had so much success with. Not taking itself too seriously yet still bringing the quality you expect from Marvel makes Deadpool a unique viewing experience. However this may not be a viewing experience enjoyed by all superhero fans, braking the fourth wall takes away the ability to immerse yourself within the story; much like if a pro wrestler reminded you halfway through the match that the outcome was already predetermined, the illusion is gone.

“Deadpool brings a fresh set of ideas to the superhero movie table along with a massive shot of adrenaline! Loved it!” – 4.8/5

By Johnathan Ramsay (Saturday Nights in)

Follow me on twitter @satnightsin

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A Very Murray Chrismas (2015) REVIEW

Its that time of year when the old Christmas films come out, the TV specials surface, and the nostalgia trips begin. This year Netflix offers us a very different take on the Christmas special. "A Very Murray Christmas" sees Bill Murray (as Himself) hosting a live TV Christmas sing-a-long special from a New York Hotel. A winter storm however has prevented all of Murray's celebrity guests turning up and Murray wants nothing less than this special to continue.

"A Very Murray Christmas" is almost a parody of Christmas sing-a-long TV specials with Murray providing his unique brand of what you could call "Miserable comedy". Throughout the hour long special of your favourite Christmas tunes Murray bumps into many celebrity friends. Friends such as Michael Cera, Miley Cyrus and George Clooney provide some chuckles in between the musical offerings of Murray and friends. There are many very surreal scenes such as Murray and Chris Rock preforming a duet.

Although the variety of celebrities involved and Murray's own brand comedy do put a smile on your face that's about all they do. The celebrity interactions don't seem to really be building up to anything much and the constant singing does get a little boring. If you're the sort of person who enjoys a good sing-a-long and musicals then this may be for you. Personally the entertainment factor wasn't there for me.

2.5/5 - "Far from a Christmas Classic but sure to make you smile."

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Circle (2015) REVIEW

“Circle” is a Sci-fi drama directed by Aaron Hann and Mario Miscione that focuses on a group of 50 strangers who have been kidnapped and forced to vote on who is to be executed next until only 1 is left. The atmosphere of mystery and anticipation apparent within “Circle” is very similar to that of “The Exam” (2009), pointing out flaws within society and personal stigmas that we all may hold.

The premise of “Circle” is certainly not the most unique but its added Sci-Fi twist does create a very dramatic atmosphere. Characters clash over issues ranging from race, sex and age, again reiterating how discriminatory people can be. The Sci-Fi twist of a potential alien race studying how humans interact seems to be a clear metaphor for how ridiculous and judgemental human can be. Although this film isn’t breaking any new grounds when it comes to a thought provoking message, the plot is enough to have you continue to watch even if it’s just to find how who survives!  

The 1 ½ star rating on Netflix may be a little bit harsh but it is understandable. Some of the acting and script is somewhat ‘questionable’ however watching 50 people senselessly vote on who will die next like some sort of morbid X-factor makes for surprisingly compelling viewing. I guess that’s what the aliens thought too. A stylish set and strangely compelling plot makes for a decent indie sci-fi flick.

2.5/5 – Not all that bad, although not all that good.

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Beasts Of No Nation (2015) REVIEW

Netflix original “Beasts of no nation” is a feature length drama starring Idris Elba as “The commandant” and Abraham Attah as “Agu”, a child solider fighting in a civil war in an unnamed African country.

“Beasts of no nation” is truly a heart wrenching story that illustrates the anguish of war from the perspective of a child whose innocence is stolen by the war and charismatic tyrant that is “The commandant” (Idris Elba). Director Cary Joji Fukunaga leaves little to the imagination with gory realism in many scenes that really exposes the brutal nature of war. Following the experiences of Agu, the child solider, having to experience moral decisions that no man, let alone a child, should ever experience is really a difficult yet fascinating watch.

Idris Elba provides a captivating and impactful performance bringing a real spellbinding aura to the character of “The commandant”, giving no doubt as to why these children of war torn families and towns trust this man. Abraham Attah is stand out amongst an array of talented child actors who act out and clearly understand these “adult” issues giving the roles unquestionable and gritty realism.

“Beasts of no nation” could possibly be one of the best war films of the decade. The direct way in which this film tackles the brutal nature of war is fantastic with truly engaging characters that will have your eyes fixated to your screen. Abraham Attah is a great talent along with Idris Elba brining the film together.

If this is the standard of feature length Netflix Originals then keep them coming!

5/5 – Possibly the best war film of the decade.  

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The Human Centipede 3 (2015) REVIEW

The Human Centipede 3 follows essentially the same plot as the previous gut wrenching installment, some psycho watches both the movies and decides to create a human centipede of his own. Only this time it’s set in an American prison. HC3 features Dieter Laster (The Human Centipede) as the sick sadistic warden who is influenced by his accountant (Yes, his accountant) Laurence R. Harvey (The Human Centipede 2) to create his very own human centipede with the prison’s over crowded inmate population in order to save both their jobs (because some nonsensical reason).

This grotesque horror is a vomit inducing watch from start to finish, in not in a good horror way either. It is almost unwatchable with Dieter Laster shouting almost incomprehensible racist, sexist and homophobic slurs throughout the entire film. Honestly he is literally shouting all of the time. This along with the second-rate performance from Laurence R. Harvey and the even worse performance from porn star Bree Olson (who is literally only there to look at, the characters sexist attitudes and revealing camera angles make this crystal clear) makes this one really difficult watch. Not to mention the excessive crude and disturbing scenes that have no meaning in terms of the story. “Disturbing scenes? It’s a horror that’s to be expected” you may say, but it is clear that these scenes have only been included by writer and director Tom Sixx for cheap shock value and nothing else. One can only imagine that Mr.Sixx is aware that no one asked for this third installment nor the second so creating buzz via “gore porn” is the only way. Seriously though who really in their right mind wants to watch scenes such as: A man’s balls being cut off and eaten, a man having sex with another man’s stab wound and a brutally beaten women being raped whilst in a coma. Not to mention the whole human centipede BS.

Laurence R. Harvey & Dieter Laster

Forgetting all of the above the story doesn’t even make sense, these guys are creating this centipede to save their jobs? Sure they are. The actors in this move are both shown on screen whilst the inmates watch the previous two movies. THIS MAKES NO SENSE. Oh and the prison warden for whatever reason has to call in Tom Sixx (as himself) to explain the premise of the Human centipede and then go on to make some self-congratulatory speech about how The Human Centipede has become “social meme” as it was featured on South Park. Fantastic.

The original Human Centipede movie: Unique, a bit gross but interesting and an OK watch. The Sequels? Don’t even.

1/5 If you’re a fan of watching movies featuring  raping women in comas and raping stab wounds, then this is just the movie for you. 

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Line of Duty (2012-) (TV Review)

Line of Duty is a British TV crime drama that began in 2012, spawning two series with a third on its way. Steve Arnott (Martin Compston) and DC Kate Fleming (Vicky McClure) are partners in AC12, an anti corruption unit looking into the actions of potentially dirty members of the police department. Each series focuses on a multi strand investigation into a member of the police force that may be involved in criminal activities.

Martin Compston stands out as exiled DS Steve Arnott who has been transferred to AC12 following the death of an innocent man by a counter terrorist unit under Arnott's supervision. DS Steve Arnott takes a stand against corruption leaving him an easy target for resentful coppers. Compston plays the multi-layered character to perfection, delivering lines with stony eyes in intense interrogation and interview scenes. Vicky McClure also puts in a stellar performance filled with gritty realism only adding to the intense atmosphere of the show that keeps you on the edge of your seat throughout each episode.

This series is a thrill ride from start to finish with twists and turns that will have you saying "just another episode." Line of duty encompasses everything that is great about British crime drama and uniquely captures the adrenaline rush of a Hollywood action movie. Intelligent writing, great performances and all around top quality British TV.

We Can't wait for the third series!
5/5

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